Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
