im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
