Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
