I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
