My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
