I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
