I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
