like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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