I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
