Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
