Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
