We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
