Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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