nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
