i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
