Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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