WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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