road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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