Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
