Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So much rum. So many feels.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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