I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
