I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
