I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
