Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
