Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
