Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
