Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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