smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
