you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
