WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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