He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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