no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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