loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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