I'm really into asian looking animals
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
