i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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