You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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