New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
This baby is an asshole
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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