fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They have beer where we have blood.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
