We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
