I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize