dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So apparently I’m into choking now
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
