You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm both gender and math confused
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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