He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
