i would punch a child for taco bell
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
