Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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