I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
