And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
