pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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