I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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