Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
