Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
