End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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