So drunk its hurt
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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