I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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