Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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