I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
did you just send me my own nude
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
