She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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