Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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