And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
