i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
