Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize