after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
