capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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