yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
