i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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