Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
operation harelip BJ is a go
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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